He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
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Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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