You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Edward fifth and chaser hands
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
