I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
