do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
