And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
