i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
What drink are we having for lunch?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
