I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
