So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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