I just saw a hot homeless man
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
