Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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