How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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