He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
foreskin is a definite game changer
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
