Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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