yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
