She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
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if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
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I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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