I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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