Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
My cat gives me a boner
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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