he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
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