dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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