WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
either way he was missing a nipple.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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