I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize