So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I think people are normalizing furries
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
