Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
