What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
