Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
