??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You ruined the universe
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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