They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
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dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just high enough for therapy.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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