am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
pop tarts are not kleenex
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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