She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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