I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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