I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
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Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
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He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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