Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
