I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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