Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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