I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
