So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Everclear isn't food dammit
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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