One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
