Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
