is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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