I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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