So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You're earring is so big in my mouth
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
