Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
