I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
