fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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