He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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