really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
