Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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