dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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