I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
