You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
