Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
