I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
