i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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