her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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