Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Found your dick twin last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize