make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
