dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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