Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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