At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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