Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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